Shizu-chan
by HoneyBear1874
Summary: Shizuo didn't even like going to bars. Shizaya/Izuo crack, but I tried not to make them too OOC. Based off the youtube video with Izaya's voice actor singing a "love song" to Shizuo.


"Just because I'm wearing a goddamn bartender suit, doesn't mean I'm automatically a fucking bartender." Shizuo explained calmly to the guy he just knocked out; the drunk man had demanded rudely for Shizuo to fetch him a drink.

"You think everyone in this town would know what you look like by now." Tom sighed heavily; at least no property was damaged.

Shizuo lit up another cigarette in a huff. "That drunk bastard had it coming anyway. I still don't get why the hell you dragged me here in the first place." he grumbled.

Shizuo rarely drank anything other than milk and the occasional cup of coffee, beverages not usually served in bars. Not to mention he was somewhat scared to drink; what if he was an angry drunk? He had enough trouble with his temper sober.

Tom looked away from the unconscious body slumped against the opposite wall; was that some blood on the floor or a spilled drink?

"I explained to you earlier," Tom replied calmly. "I got a call from a Mr. O' Hara; he's a foreigner I think, but he spoke Japanese well enough. He wants us to collect $50,000 from some bum that comes here every day at 6 pm.' he explained once more taking a sip of his drink.

"What the hell does the guy even look like? And how does "Mr. O'Hara" or whatever know he'll be here today?" Shizuo questioned; it all seemed a bit suspicious to him. He may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he had enough common sense to be wary of a possible setup.

"Our client said he's been having his men keep an eye on the guy; he comes here every day at the same time without fail. He didn't give much of a description, but he said you'd be able to recognize the guy."

Shizuo's head jerked sideways to glare at Tom. "That's all?! What does he mean I'll be able to recognize this asshole? What kind of shit is he pulling!?" he would give anything for another drunk jackass to punch right now. Shizuo hated violence, but the anger was overwhelming.

Tom sensed Shizuo's temper about to boil over; he handed him a bottle of milk from the inside of his coat.

Shizuo blankly stared at the drink for a moment; suddenly, he grabbed the bottle and took a large gulp from it.

"Thanks." Shizuo mumbled; it was his way of apologizing.

Tom smiled lightly. "I know it's not much to go on, but this Mr. O'Hara is offering us $10,000 for this job. It's only a minute until 6; does anyone look familiar?"

Shizuo scanned the bar carefully; there were maybe 30 other people there, but he couldn't pick out one familiar face. He checked the clock hanging above the entrance; it was already 5 minutes past 6.

"I don't recognize anyone." he said after taking another sip of milk. "I told you, this has got to be a setup." he reprimanded.

Tom shrugged his shoulders. "I guess; but in that case, why? The last few times we've gotten a fake job, someone would already be attacking you by now." People in this city never seemed to learn; no common thug could ever take down Ikebukuro's strongest man.

"What a waste of time. Let's just-" Shizuo stopped talking as the bar lights went out. "What the hell?" he growled.

"The power got cut off? Weird." Tom always managed to treat incidents like this with nonchalance. It was a trait Shizuo admired and envied. Right now, it was just irritating.

"I don't care why and I don't give a damn how, someone better turn these lights back-"but he was left interrupted once more. A sudden beam of light shone from the ceiling to the bar's karaoke stage.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen!" the man standing on the stage called out pleasantly. He stood in the front of a microphone attached to a stand; he held an acoustic guitar in his hands. The man was smiling as he adjusted the microphone; the smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

"No fucking way." Shizuo said, his eyes narrowed in a murderous glare. The weird assignment, the suspicious setup; he should have known that bastard had something to do with it.

"Izaya." he growled lowly

"Shizu-chan, I'm glad to see you and your boss could make it." Izaya spoke; he had the uncanny ability to sound friendly and untrustworthy at the same time.

Shizuo ignored his greeting. "What the hell are you doing, you bloodsucking flea?!" he questioned roughly.

Izaya's smile widened. "I came to sing a song; in fact, I wrote it myself." he stated calmly. He began to strum his guitar.

"Huh. So this is that guy you want to kill." Tom said mildly; he made it seem as if nothing was odd about Izaya calling them out on a fake job so he could perform a brief concert in front of someone who hated him.

Tom caught Shizuo's incredulous stare. "You know a lady without a head who rides a motorcycle. a motorcycle that neighs. This can't be the strangest thing you've ever experienced."

Shizuo couldn't exactly say Tom was wrong…Still, what was Izaya up to? That damn flea; he always had something going on in the background and whatever it was, someone was going to get screwed.

" _What is he getting from pulling this shit_?" Shizuo thought. " _Whatever it is, it won't lead to anything good. That crazy bastard._ "

Izaya began to play a slow melody; he inhaled once and began to sing:

" _Shizu-chan,_

 _I have feelings,_

 _For you."_

"What. The. Fuck." Shizuo had shattered the milk bottle he held into glass shards; his cigarette fell from his open mouth.

" _Shizu-chan,_

 _Would you please stop throwing vending machines_

 _And stop hitting me with your stop signs?"_

Shizuo wanted nothing more than to grab the nearest object he could get a hold of and chuck it at Izaya's head. Unfortunately, he was currently paralyzed with shock; what "feelings" was that bastard talking about? It had to all be a nightmare, a sick, twisted figment of his imagination.

" _Shizu-chan,_

 _I think I like you,_

 _Shizu-chan, Shizu-chaaan."_

Izaya's voice came out smooth and emotional; his eyes were half lidded and he looked upwards, as if his song was a prayer. There was no smile on his face; for once Izaya Orihara was completely serious.

" _What does this mean_?" Shizuo thought numbly. " _Where did this all come from? How long….?_ " his thoughts trailed off as Izaya's voice and the music swelled up together.

" _I wanna watch the stars with you,_

 _I wanna see the moon with you,_

 _Yeah, I wanna hold your hand_

 _Shizu-chan."_

His voice rung out through the room; the bar was silent. Shizuo swore he heard a few "aws' from a group of young women. Tom had not blinked and held his breath, waiting for Shizuo to snap. He glanced over at Shizuo and his eyes widened in shock.

Shizuo was blushing, a light pink dusting his cheeks. His eyes were confused, but his gaze was not a hardened glare. He looked almost shy.

" _Is this really happening? I've never heard someone say anything so….heartfelt to me._ " Shizuo wondered; was he wrong about Izaya being a soulless sneaky flea? Did this mean…..

… _.but not really."_

Izaya finished with one last note on the guitar; he smiled pleasantly once more. The lights were back on and everyone sat dumbfounded. A glass was thrown against the wall behind the stage; it was an inch away from hitting Izaya in the face.

" **IZAYAAAAAAA!"** Shizuo roared, his face red from anger; mostly.

The smile never left Izaya's face. "Oh, did I make Shizu-chan's heart flutter? Have you fallen for me? How cute." he commented patronizingly.

"You're a dead man Izaya!" Shizuo jumped on the stage; Izaya dodged his blows and jumped to the ground. He quickly ran out the door, but not before giving Shizuo a quick wink.

"That's right Shizu-chan, scream my name."

Shizuo's face looked sun burnt; he charged once more, fists swinging wildly as Izaya made his escape.

"I should have been a salary man." Tom lamented as he downed the rest of his drink in one swallow.


End file.
